How astrology can explain why you can’t get over your ex

Break ups are the worst. Period. But some are worse than others. If you’re struggling to get over an ex, astrologer Kristy Gray explains why.

Have you ever experienced an instant connection with someone? You can’t seem to put your finger on it, but you feel like you’ve known them for a lifetime.

It could be a partner from the past that you felt a soul connection with. Maybe someone made an impression so strong, it’s something you’ve never been able to shake.

If this sounds familiar, you’re bound to have experienced a fated meeting. A cosmic connection, soulmate, twin flame or karmic relationship are just some of the terms you’ll find online to explain these soulful encounters.

But not all Encounters speak of a fairy tale. Some people we can easily create a deep bond with, while others may come into our lives for a season, becoming a mirror for us to learn something we’re still to master.

Astrology can provide many explanations on the topic of Meaningful relationships. If you’ve experienced any of these encounters before, let’s explore some of the synchronicities to help you recognize the astrological connections.

Cosmic connections

As an astrologer, I work with new clients every day. Some are couples to help them gain a Deeper understanding of themselves and each other, some are singles looking for love and some are people that have experienced an intense Transformation with an outside force (someone or something) as the Catalyst for this.

Through these sessions, you start to spot the synchronicities between particular planets and synastry.

You can experience a fated meeting either by an astrological transit where a planet is aspecting your Natal chart, which could be either a positive or opportunistic outcome.

Or, through synastry, you can also compare the Natal charts of two people and how the planets interact with one another.

The lunar nodes

The lunar nodes aren’t planets, they’re Mathematical calculations from the Moon’s Orbit and they include two points: south node and north node.

The nodes are on an axis opposite each other and as much as they are Karma and Destiny, they’re also linked to our spiritual Evolution. The south node represents past life and Karma, while the north node points to your future and the direction you need to pursue.

If you’ve ever experienced a strong attraction to someone else and a ‘feeling of knowing’, this could mean one of their personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus and Mars) are aspecting your south node or vice versa.

If someone drops into your life almost magically, whether it’s a teacher, friend, or significant other, chances are one of their personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus and Mars) are aspecting your north node or vice versa.


If you’ve ever felt like you’ve been temporarily kicked by the Cosmos, Sneaky Saturn may have something to do with it!

The planet Saturn represents perseverance, structure, responsibility, boundaries, authority and karmic duty. Saturn orbits through the entire zodiac in 29 years.

But every seven years, it forms an aspect with your Natal Chart. So, at 14, 21, and 28 years you were bound to experience something that altered your path.

Saturn resolves past problems and if it’s emphasized in a synastry chart, it’s likely you’ll experience karmic lessons and karmic connections.


The vertex isn’t a planet or a star, it’s a special point and it represents karmic or fated meetings. When you experience a turning point in your life or a soulmate Encounter, this could mean your Vertex is forming a connection with someone else’s.

If you feel like Fate has intervened or you were under an illusion in a relationship, your Vertex’s may have collided.

People come into our lives for a reason or a season. I believe we can have many cosmic connections in our lives with others, not just when we’re looking for ‘the one’.

So, the next time you’re taking a chance, doing something new, or running daily errands, keep your eyes peeled for a soulful Encounter.

You never know who you might meet… just keep your wits about you if it’s Venus retrograde, as you may be more inclined to rekindle with an ex or seek out a partner with misaligned values. This could be either exhilarating or a head-turner total a total Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian moment.

Kristy Gray is an astrologer and life strategist who helps people take action on their dreams through self-exploration, self-acceptance and self-efficacy. You can learn more about her work here.

The article Originally appeared in Body + Soul and was reproduced with permission


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